Flying the Friendly Skies

A woman was laying down across three seats at New York's Laguardia Airport. She was softly crying.  Her husband was comforting her.  I was on my way back to Minnesota and assumed she must be going there for a very sad funeral or something.
As fate would have it, they were seated across the aisle from me.  She continued to cry as the plane was loading.  We began to taxi to the runway.  The crying increased.  We took off.  Now she's got her head between her legs sobbing.  
Aha! She's afraid of flying.
Soon the pilot gets on the microphone and tells us we will be leveling out at 30,000 feet.  "WAAAAAAAA!"
And that we are traveling at 700 miles an hour...."WAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
And that we will be flying over Lake Michigan...  "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
So I press the call button, and, when the flight attendant comes, I indicate the sobbing, out of control aerophobic, "She's freaking out over there.  Could you please tell the pilot to quit with the statistics?"
So the next thing you know, the co-pilot comes sauntering down the aisle to talk to her!  She really flips out, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!  WHO'S FLYING THE AIRPLANE?!!!"
©5/2012  Jana B Patrick