In the Land of Sky Blue Water...or Blue-Eyed Water....

 We have a friend, Kevin, who sells home water filtration systems.  Consumers may soon have another reason to buy one.  Minnesota just became the second state to have fire-free "Green Cremations." Where it normally takes about 25 years for a body to decompose, it can now be done in a three hour water and chemical spa treatment.  When this final bath is over (and I personally hope it's a nice warm one), then the 'liquids,' which contain 'broken down organic matter' are all drained into the municipal water treatment facilities and then into...the water supply.  The bones are left, and you can see a previous blog of mine to see how those are reduced for consumer packaging. (http://janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com/2012/06/bf-cuisinart.html )

So, Kevin, here is your new marketing spiel:  "Our filters take out contaminants including chlorine, rust, bacteria, parasites, and, what's more,  you never, ever have to worry about Great Uncle Herbert's remains clouding up your drinking water. Our filtered water will have no unpleasant odors--no chlorine, bromine, sulfur; no Grampa Ken who never, ever took a bath; no Gramma Carlita who wore perfume like the force field of the Starship Enterprise. You can rest in peace knowing that you will only taste clear, clean water--no rancid  feet, sweaty arm pits; no cousin Kermit's flatulence that, while he was alive, had busted a hole through the ozone layer."

Kevin, I realize I could get the big bucks for these marketing tips, but they are yours for FREE!  People will appreciate their filtered water even more as the demographics of H2O begin changing...  
©8/2012  Jana B Patrick

A World Gone Batty

Brian vs. the Bats:  6 Games to Zero.  
A friend of ours recently played tennis against bats in his cabin.  "Love" may have been his score, but certainly wasn't his sentiment toward his opponents.
So, he called an exterminator.
Who said he couldn't help him.
Because bats have babies this time of year.
And therefore are legally protected.
Brian, an avid hunter and bearer of arms, can legally shoot a human intruder but the trespassing bats are protected.  
(Who is really running this country anyway???) 

P.S.  Rats and mice are lobbying for equal treatment under the law.  
©8/2012  Jana B Patrick

The Clear People

"Who is God?  Where is He, Mom? I just want to see Him!"  Thus spake my 3 1/2 year old grandson, John, to his mom, Caroline.  I'll let her tell the rest of the story:

"Before I could answer him, the questions just kept coming and so did his frustration.  He didn't like my answer that God is everywhere; in his heart, in Heaven, all around us in the air and at church.
There was silence as I watched his little brain wheels cranking.  Then, "Mom, can you get me a kite so that I can fly it high, up to Heaven and I would hold on so tight and I could climb up the kite so I could see God?"
Later that night as we were coloring, I asked John to tell Daddy about our conversation.  He right away perked up and said, "GOD!   Do you know Him, Daddy?!" We talked about how God is always here to help us make good choices.  Right away John asked, "He leaves when I make bad ones?"  We explained that He is always with us!"

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Caroline's story reminds me of when our daughter, Alana, was four.  She and Steve had just finished prayers.  Alana whispered, "I never knew about the Clear People."

"What?!" asked Steve.

"The Clear People; I never knew about them." she said.

"Who are they?" asked Steve.

"The Clear People." she re-stated.

Steve asked, "Who told you about them?"

"Mom," she replied.

"Well, who are they?!" he asked.

Alana said, "The Clear People, you know, like God."
©8/2012  Jana B Patrick