Halloween Trivia

--The origins of Halloween are with the Celtic people of Ireland and ancient Britain and is was a celebration of the end of summer and the close of the harvest season.  Only cold, dark winter lay ahead.
--The first Jack-o-lanterns in Ireland were potatoes and turnips carved into faces with a hot, glowing coal inside.  Irish immigrants to the U.S. found pumpkins to be a better medium, and today, 99% of pumpkins are used for Halloween carving. Sooooooo, what is really in all those cans of pumpkin pie filling???


--The first costumes in Ireland were of animal heads and skins.  "Mum!!!  Could you please, please kill Fluffy so I can go to the Halloween dance tonight???  
I wouldn't be caught dead wearing the leftover Holstein from last year!!"  


--Trick-or-treating began as a Scottish and Irish practice called, "Guising' where children went door to door in costumes collecting food and coins for the town's Halloween feast.  They would have to do a little song or dance for the treat.  If the homeowner refused to dole out, a practical joke could be played.  (I wonder if, when our government does their practice of "Gouging," we could make politicians do songs and dances as we dole out the tax dollars --  But, of course, if we refuse to pay, Big Brother plays practical jokes on us like prison or, worse yet, an audit.)
Happy Samhain! (pronounced: Sow-en) (Original name of Oct 31-Nov 1 Celtic Festival)
©10/2011  Jana B Patrick

Mountain Musings

I've been hiking a very popular trail, Pinnacle Peak, in Arizona, and saw my shadow whiz by and thought, "Wow! I'm going really fast!"  Then, as it sped away from me, I realized it was actually the shadow of the person on the switchback below me.  My own shadow, I then noticed, was  helping the 90 year olds on the trail above keep pace...  
I also observed how friendly the people WITHOUT earbuds are. "Hi!"  "Morning!" "How ya doing?" The ones WITH earbuds, avert their eyes and slink on past in their own personal techno bubble, as if each is the world's last and only citizen.  
I think tomorrow I'll say, "HI!!!" really loudly as I pass them and see if any jump out of their skin--I'll considerately avoid doing this on steep slopes.   Maybe.      ©10/2011  Jana B Patrick

Maybe this would work for the non-friendlies???

The Man Purse

Cell phones, Blackberries, E Notebooks, iPads, keys etc.  Guys really need purses.  My husband says, "NO WAY! That's what cargo pants are for."
Perhaps men will use them if we re-name the receptacal:
Man bag.  Testo-Tote. Man Pack.  Male carrier.
Designers can make them visually more manly:  A mini-gym bag.  
A brief brief-case.  A little metal lunch pail.  A metal studded Harley clutch.
Then men can carry their electronics as well as their lip balm, men's cologne, and changes of earrings. How about pictures of the girlfriends/wives/kids--are we asking too much?
The gorgeous 20 year old daughter of our friends, Greg and Diane, recently saw a man from the continent sporting a ponytail, capri pants and a man bag.  She was impressed, "I have to marry a European!"  So see, guys?  Besides the obvious advantages and function of man purses, they are chick magnets.
©10/2011  Jana B Patrick

What's not to like about this?

The Harley Clutch

Yup!

GPS

The lady's electronic voice on our GPS system recently helped us reach Dubuque, Iowa.  Perhaps it's time for the market to come up with more voice variety for this ingenious device.


The Guy Electronic voice version:  "Hey bud!  Hang a ralph up by da Fleet Farm, go about twenny more yards and dere's da Denny's you're looking for.  Have a nice day!"


The Backseat Driver version:  "In a quarter mile, take a right turn...Hey!  Why did you go straight?!  It's much shorter the other way--why don't you ever listen to me?!  For Pete's sake, slow down!! And quit fiddling with the GPS and watch the road!  Oh, the trials I have to go through."  
(Steve says I should do the voice for this GPS...)

The Republican version:  "In a quarter mile, take a right turn.  Take the next right turn.  In one mile take a right turn..."  When buying this model, a 37% surcharge is kicked back to the corporate lobbyists of your choice.

The subsidized Democratic version costs less and you may even be entitled to own one for free.  Only left turns are directed.
Both party's devices include State as well a a new Federal sales tax and promise to keep you spinning your wheels.
©10/2011  Jana B Patrick

Don't Split Hairs Over It

Below is a response from my cousin, Deanne, after I wrote a blog about butchering my sister's haircut:

(  http://janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com/2011/06/sheer-madness.html   )  

When Gordy and I were first married, he announced that I should cut his hair. "ME?!!!" I was sure he was kidding. He said his mother always cut his father's, so I could certainly cut his. Funny when I asked if he had his mother cut his hair, he replied with a resounding "NO!" Having brought the electric clippers home from his mother's house, he said he wanted me to try.  FOOL.

I read the instructions and plugged it in.  I started on the top with a scissors. "Not bad,"  I thought. So I guessed I could handle those clippers. I was standing at his side, and just as I took the first swipe up the back of his head, he grabbed one of my boobs.  So he accidentally got a long, bald, skunk stripe.  I didn't tell him just how close he was sheered. I finished the job and could barely stand to look at him the rest of the night. He showered and never said anything, apparently not having felt the highway down the back of his head.

The next day he had a meeting at the Hennepin County Government Center.  He came home and asked me if there was anything I wanted to talk to him about.
I said, "No."  
"Oh," he replied, "I thought we would need to talk about my haircut."  
I said, "Nope. You're the one that wanted the haircut, and I didn't want to give you one, so you just had to pay the price."  LAST HAIRCUT I ever gave him.
Deanne S.