Are Surprise Parties REALLY a Good Idea?

My brother-in-law Kerry was relating how he and his wife, Dianne, had felt sheepish having not done much for their daughter, Alexis, and son-in-law, Paul's, February birthdays.  A two month late surprise party would be just the ticket. They called up Alexis asking her to stop by on a certain April evening and to make SURE she bring Paul, too--that is was VERY IMPORTANT that they BOTH come over.


When those doing the inviting are in their twenties or thirties and give such instructions, the invitees smile to themselves and think, "Oh!  They must want to tell us they are engaged!"  or, "Oh!  How wonderful!  They must be pregnant!"


When those doing the inviting give such instructions and are in their SIXTIES, the invitees (Alexis and Paul in this case) suddenly freeze and think, "OH NO!!! One of them must have CANCER OR SOMETHING!!!"


So, the birthdays were celebrated without the surprise fanfare after Alexis was assured that Kerry and Dianne were indeed healthy and plan to stick around and continue depleting her inheritance...


Kerry also told me of the time Dianne turned thirty. Dozens of friends and family waited in the darkened house for them to arrive after dining out. Just as Kerry guided Dianne toward the front door, she saw a shadow move in the window. She tried to dive behind Kerry and whispered frantically, "I think there's a burglar!  YOU go first!" Knowing the group would soon jump out and surprise Dianne, Kerry prodded her forward insisting SHE go first.  I'm sure he said something reassuring like, "Oh, Dianne, if it's just a silly burglar, I'm sure we can scare him off! And the chances he's armed are slim---maybe as low as 20%. YOU go ahead, dear."


So, bottom line: Surprise Parties: Are they a good idea?  Half the time people figure it out ahead and have to PRETEND they are surprised, and for the other half, the birthday victim is scared into a possible CORONARY. (which might make it their LAST birthday.  In which case, the cupcakes and crock pot weenies wouldn't be entirely wasted as it would instead become a send-off party of sorts.) 
 ©4/2012  Jana B Patrick