How to Get Rock Hard Glutes

This is a November 2011 story from legitimate news sources--really!  MIAMI--A woman who wanted to work at a nightclub looked for someone who could perform inexpensive plastic surgery to give her a curvier body.  Police said what she found was a man posing as a female doctor who filled her buttocks with cement, mineral oil and "Fix-a-Flat' flat-tire inflator.
     Oneal-Ron Morris, 30, was arrested. The victim allegedly paid $700 for Morris to inject her in several sites on her derriere, pumping it full of the toxic material. The victim described some of the 'tools' Morris used as rubber tubing attached to a cooler. She felt enormous pressure and then intense pain but was assured it would be over soon. The wounds were sealed with Super Glue. She went to the hospital for abdominal pains.


Here's how I imagine the 'victim's' E.R visit went:

Victim:  My stomach really hurts, doc!

Doctor:  When did your symptoms start?

Victim:  Pretty much right after I had my ass filled with a cooler full of cement.

Doctor:  You had foreign material injected into you?!

Victim:  Oh no!  Not foreign!!-- Cement from the U.S.A. for sure--I seen the truck out front. Hey, maybe I'm sick from the Super Glue used to close up the butt holes--

Doctor:  Your anus is glued shut?!

Victim:  No!  haha--not THAT  hole, you silly doctor!--that would be pretty STUPID don't you think?! (Did you really go to Med school, Doc?)  Haha--no, just the holes where the concrete was poured in.  And doc? How'm I suppose to work at the club while hauling around a 500 pound booty?

Doctor:  Sorry lady, we can't help you here; I'm referring you to  
a Structural Engineer.  

And if I were you?   AVOID swimming.

Mug shots of  the 'DOCTOR'  that performed the 'surgery.'
  Transgender 'doc' Ron-Oneal Morris.
With a butt the size and weight of Texas, she really inspires confidence.

'Stone Butt Brand' Hypoallergenic Surgical Cement                           'Fix a Flat' Butt inflator

©11/2011  Jana B Patrick

Here is one of the articles written in Miami:

http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/11/18/2509172/doctor-accused-of-injecting-womans.html#ixzz1eVExztxU