©2/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Pull Over and Say "Ah."
While driving years ago, we were discussing tonsils.
(Aren't we fun?) Six year old Ryan was worried about the longevity of his tonsils when he heard that Steve and I had ours out when we were little. I told Ryan that was
the norm back then, and that the doctors don’t take them out so much anymore. Ryan nodded, “Oh, so it was the
law back then.” Out of his earshot I said to Steve,
“Can’t you see getting pulled over for a routine traffic stop and the cop
saying, “Okay, you’re wearing your seat belts, kids are in car seats…and hey, pal,
you wouldn't be sporting any illegal tonsils now would ya?"
©2/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
©2/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
To Have And Have Not
My cousin Deanne related the following story after reading my 'toilet paper' blog. http://www.janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com/2013/01/meaningful-dialogue.html
I loved your toilet paper blog. Gordy and I laugh about our four adult children giving us a hard time about using Scot toilet tissue, saying it is too rough. (they must have extra soft buns.) We buy it for efficiency, durability and cost!!! :)
What makes this so comical is the fact of where I grew up. We had no indoor plumbing--that is, no running water or 'biffs.' That house was in the center of very affluent WAYZATA, Minnesota. You see, what we lived in was at one time an office for my great grandfather's construction business and there was no plumbing then or EVER. My parents moved there in 1946 when I was born.
During the warm weather months our water came from the outside spigot of my great aunt's house next door. In the colder weather when the spigot was shut off, it meant melted snow or rainwater. Toilet issues were handled by walking to the local Catholic church that was always open, or the elementary school facilities when open; they even had showers available for the community if they needed them. We did!
I remember going to my aunt and uncle's farm in northern Minnesota where they had running water in the barn, but the same situation we had in the house: nothing. But they were one step above us. They had an outhouse...which had a Sears catalog which was used as toilet paper. NOW you want to talk about ROUGH. :)
So, having come from such beginnings I find toilet paper quality a mute point. When I know the kids are coming over, I slip on a roll of Charmin for their tender buns.
I asked Deanne if I could print the above story and below is her answer.
(Deanne's mother, Adeline, was my mom's cousin. Adeline lost her mother when she was little and she and her six sisters were farmed out to different families. Fortunately, she became my Mom's adopted sister)
(Deanne:) I don't mind. For most of my life I would never talk about being that poor, but now I am proud to have survived it and thankful my mother, (Adeline), got us through it, although I look back with amazement.
We had an oil burner in that house, and, if the wind blew, my mother was afraid the oil fumes would back up and make us sick. So she had me dress in layers and layers and layers and turned the oil burner OFF. Then the water we used for washing up and drinking would freeze. I would put the clothes for the next day in bed with me to make sure they were warm to get into. Oh my gosh, I don't long for those days, but, I am okay with the fact that we were so poor, it made me strong and that is a good thing in life.
My father was killed in a car accident in 1956 when I was 10. That left my mother to raise me by herself. It was very difficult for a few years. My father's mother--my favorite angel growing up--Grandma Pearl--lived in efficiency apartments around Wayzata, so hers was always an extra place to use a bathroom and, in case of emergency like one of us getting sick, we could go to her place. TIGHT but it worked.
About 1959, the daughter-in-law, Jane, of a family my mother worked for in the late 1930's and '40's as a nurse governess for their children, was looking for childcare for her new baby. They hit it off as Adeline had a gift for making friends and felt comfortable with people of any age, background or status. She was so excited because Jane had an idea. She had many wealthy friends that needed childcare, and would my mother like to get into that as a business? Thus came a long term fix for us. My mother didn't have a car or know how to drive, so these women would come quite a ways and pick her up and bring her to their homes. I was usually in school, and if I wasn't, she took me with her. It worked.
The next amazing thing happened later that year when the first shopping center was built in Wayzata. For the opening, there was a grand prize drawing for a new car. My mother won. Many people in town offered drivers training, free oil changes for a year, free gas etc. What a gift to us. We were mobile!
My mother's child caring soon evolved into staying at those same homes and caring for the children while the parents went on vacations usually about three weeks at a time. Adeline's name spread fast and people booked her months, sometimes years ahead allowing her to be very selective. We were like nomads, never knowing where we would wake up but guaranteed a warm house. :) We always went back home in between but the estates we stayed in were unbelievable. No one ever knew we had no plumbing, which, looking back just makes me laugh.
For three months during the summer of 1965, Adeline was nanny for the children of the director of the Walker Art Center who was traveling. Across the street was a beautiful estate where a husband and wife were renting during a three month job they had in Minneapolis. The wife and my mother became good friends and spent the summer walking around the lake and having tea etc. I had a nanny job so I wasn't there. My mother talked a lot about her friends across the street, but I guess I wasn't too interested. Silly me, it turns out. Adeline's job ended and we went back to our house. The next day the Minneapolis newspaper had a full page story about Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn who had spent the summer starring at the Guthrie Theater. My mother saw the article and, lo and behold, those were her summer friends .
Thanks for sharing the stories, Deanne. You and Adeline have always been inspirations!
By Deanne Straka edited by Jana Brown Patrick ©2/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
For a humorous history of toilets see my blog "Loo Loo, Skip to my Loo" http://janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com/2011/05/loo-loo-skip-to-my-loo-skip-to-my-loo.html
1965 (From 'Playbill') Legendary theatre is made when the husband-and-wife team of Hume Cronyn andJessica Tandy open in The Cherry Orchard at the Tyrone Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis. Variety hails this latest production as "the outstanding presentation of the Chekhov classic in a lifetime of theatre going and would be a credit to any company."( Cronyn also performed in the Guthrie's Richard the III that summer.)
I loved your toilet paper blog. Gordy and I laugh about our four adult children giving us a hard time about using Scot toilet tissue, saying it is too rough. (they must have extra soft buns.) We buy it for efficiency, durability and cost!!! :)
What makes this so comical is the fact of where I grew up. We had no indoor plumbing--that is, no running water or 'biffs.' That house was in the center of very affluent WAYZATA, Minnesota. You see, what we lived in was at one time an office for my great grandfather's construction business and there was no plumbing then or EVER. My parents moved there in 1946 when I was born.
During the warm weather months our water came from the outside spigot of my great aunt's house next door. In the colder weather when the spigot was shut off, it meant melted snow or rainwater. Toilet issues were handled by walking to the local Catholic church that was always open, or the elementary school facilities when open; they even had showers available for the community if they needed them. We did!
I remember going to my aunt and uncle's farm in northern Minnesota where they had running water in the barn, but the same situation we had in the house: nothing. But they were one step above us. They had an outhouse...which had a Sears catalog which was used as toilet paper. NOW you want to talk about ROUGH. :)
So, having come from such beginnings I find toilet paper quality a mute point. When I know the kids are coming over, I slip on a roll of Charmin for their tender buns.
I asked Deanne if I could print the above story and below is her answer.
(Deanne's mother, Adeline, was my mom's cousin. Adeline lost her mother when she was little and she and her six sisters were farmed out to different families. Fortunately, she became my Mom's adopted sister)
(Deanne:) I don't mind. For most of my life I would never talk about being that poor, but now I am proud to have survived it and thankful my mother, (Adeline), got us through it, although I look back with amazement.
We had an oil burner in that house, and, if the wind blew, my mother was afraid the oil fumes would back up and make us sick. So she had me dress in layers and layers and layers and turned the oil burner OFF. Then the water we used for washing up and drinking would freeze. I would put the clothes for the next day in bed with me to make sure they were warm to get into. Oh my gosh, I don't long for those days, but, I am okay with the fact that we were so poor, it made me strong and that is a good thing in life.
My father was killed in a car accident in 1956 when I was 10. That left my mother to raise me by herself. It was very difficult for a few years. My father's mother--my favorite angel growing up--Grandma Pearl--lived in efficiency apartments around Wayzata, so hers was always an extra place to use a bathroom and, in case of emergency like one of us getting sick, we could go to her place. TIGHT but it worked.
About 1959, the daughter-in-law, Jane, of a family my mother worked for in the late 1930's and '40's as a nurse governess for their children, was looking for childcare for her new baby. They hit it off as Adeline had a gift for making friends and felt comfortable with people of any age, background or status. She was so excited because Jane had an idea. She had many wealthy friends that needed childcare, and would my mother like to get into that as a business? Thus came a long term fix for us. My mother didn't have a car or know how to drive, so these women would come quite a ways and pick her up and bring her to their homes. I was usually in school, and if I wasn't, she took me with her. It worked.
The next amazing thing happened later that year when the first shopping center was built in Wayzata. For the opening, there was a grand prize drawing for a new car. My mother won. Many people in town offered drivers training, free oil changes for a year, free gas etc. What a gift to us. We were mobile!
My mother's child caring soon evolved into staying at those same homes and caring for the children while the parents went on vacations usually about three weeks at a time. Adeline's name spread fast and people booked her months, sometimes years ahead allowing her to be very selective. We were like nomads, never knowing where we would wake up but guaranteed a warm house. :) We always went back home in between but the estates we stayed in were unbelievable. No one ever knew we had no plumbing, which, looking back just makes me laugh.
For three months during the summer of 1965, Adeline was nanny for the children of the director of the Walker Art Center who was traveling. Across the street was a beautiful estate where a husband and wife were renting during a three month job they had in Minneapolis. The wife and my mother became good friends and spent the summer walking around the lake and having tea etc. I had a nanny job so I wasn't there. My mother talked a lot about her friends across the street, but I guess I wasn't too interested. Silly me, it turns out. Adeline's job ended and we went back to our house. The next day the Minneapolis newspaper had a full page story about Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn who had spent the summer starring at the Guthrie Theater. My mother saw the article and, lo and behold, those were her summer friends .
Thanks for sharing the stories, Deanne. You and Adeline have always been inspirations!
By Deanne Straka edited by Jana Brown Patrick ©2/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
For a humorous history of toilets see my blog "Loo Loo, Skip to my Loo" http://janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com/2011/05/loo-loo-skip-to-my-loo-skip-to-my-loo.html
1965 (From 'Playbill') Legendary theatre is made when the husband-and-wife team of Hume Cronyn andJessica Tandy open in The Cherry Orchard at the Tyrone Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis. Variety hails this latest production as "the outstanding presentation of the Chekhov classic in a lifetime of theatre going and would be a credit to any company."( Cronyn also performed in the Guthrie's Richard the III that summer.)
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Coffee, Tea or Lysol?
So many people are sick! Germs are lurking everywhere. I remember reading one of the Laura Ingles Wilder books set in the 1800's and, on the train car she was traveling in, there was a pitcher of water and ...one drinking glass for all passengers to share.
Oh, yeah, they still do that at Catholic Mass...
We took a train out west several years ago and our dining car attendant (we called her 'Pinkie') had raging pink-eye. She would set our table, rub her eye, then write down our order and...hand me her pen to sign the slip...I recall the undisguised horror on Lauren and Alana's faces. We would then race for the bathroom, wash up, and go back to our meal most likely prepared by coughing, sputtering kitchen crew dudes with pink-eye compliments of 'Pinkie'.
(Just to really set the mood, think about all that while bouncing and clattering along the tracks at 6 a.m., with a carload of unshowered passengers, eating runny fried eggs.)
©1/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
Oh, yeah, they still do that at Catholic Mass...
We took a train out west several years ago and our dining car attendant (we called her 'Pinkie') had raging pink-eye. She would set our table, rub her eye, then write down our order and...hand me her pen to sign the slip...I recall the undisguised horror on Lauren and Alana's faces. We would then race for the bathroom, wash up, and go back to our meal most likely prepared by coughing, sputtering kitchen crew dudes with pink-eye compliments of 'Pinkie'.
(Just to really set the mood, think about all that while bouncing and clattering along the tracks at 6 a.m., with a carload of unshowered passengers, eating runny fried eggs.)
©1/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
The Toilet Paper Blues
I sent Ryan's wife, Caroline, home with a package of toilet paper, and she said, "Oh! WE love this kind, where do you get it?!" I said, "What's this 'we' business? You mean you discuss how much you like particular brands of toilet paper?" (Aren't they fun?)
(I do love you guys--happy 5th anniversary in December!)
( Aside: Where will their conversations degrade to by their 25th?? :))
I showed my college age daughter, Lauren, this story and she said, "Hey, I get this; when you're a poor college student (or young marrieds) you DO talk about how crappy the scratchy one-ply is!"
I asked Caroline permission to print this blog, and here is her reply:
"HAHAHA!!! Yes, you can post this! I very much remember this! Lol! I was thinking of it tonight when John (4) sneezed through our one-ply!"
©1/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
(I do love you guys--happy 5th anniversary in December!)
( Aside: Where will their conversations degrade to by their 25th?? :))
I showed my college age daughter, Lauren, this story and she said, "Hey, I get this; when you're a poor college student (or young marrieds) you DO talk about how crappy the scratchy one-ply is!"
I asked Caroline permission to print this blog, and here is her reply:
"HAHAHA!!! Yes, you can post this! I very much remember this! Lol! I was thinking of it tonight when John (4) sneezed through our one-ply!"
©1/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
John Wayne toilet paper – Military term used to describe the low grade toilet paper found in the MRE accessory packet. Called so because it’s rough, tough and don’t take sh!t off of anybody. Can also be used in place of extra fine grit sandpaper when refinishing furniture.
For a humorous history of toilets see my blog "Loo Loo, Skip to my Loo" http://janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com/2011/05/loo-loo-skip-to-my-loo-skip-to-my-loo.html | ||
Monday, January 14, 2013
Jello: Beauty is in the Eyes of the Beholder
On my very first day of my first 'real' job in a Minnesota nursing home kitchen, I forgot to put 150 bowls of red Jello on the food trays. When my misdeed was discovered by my betters--three older high school girls training me in--they made me sit down and eat as much of the evidence as I could. I stopped at about 40...
After six years there, including serving enough Jello to rival Mt. Kilimanjaro, I never wanted to see or taste the vile stuff again.
Fast forward to lunch at a deli when my daughter, Lauren, was about eight.
"Pick out anything you want," I said.
"WHAT is that DELICIOUS looking FOOD?!" she asked, pointing to a Jello salad. ...She loved it.
Feeling a little guilty that my kids had never experienced the cancerous colored concoction, that week I decided to make some Jello at home. My twelve year old son, Ryan, opened the refrigerator and spied something green bouncing wildly on the shelf. "MOM! what is this CRAP in the FRIDGE?!"
Growing up Non-Jello: Were my kids deprived ?...or NOT deprived?
©1/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
After six years there, including serving enough Jello to rival Mt. Kilimanjaro, I never wanted to see or taste the vile stuff again.
Fast forward to lunch at a deli when my daughter, Lauren, was about eight.
"Pick out anything you want," I said.
"WHAT is that DELICIOUS looking FOOD?!" she asked, pointing to a Jello salad. ...She loved it.
Feeling a little guilty that my kids had never experienced the cancerous colored concoction, that week I decided to make some Jello at home. My twelve year old son, Ryan, opened the refrigerator and spied something green bouncing wildly on the shelf. "MOM! what is this CRAP in the FRIDGE?!"
Growing up Non-Jello: Were my kids deprived ?...or NOT deprived?
©1/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Botox or Breezers?
I was playing pick-up hockey with my 40-something friend, Lynne. During a break she told me of a recent visit to the dermatologist who mentioned that Botox would help her look younger. Intrigued, she asked how much it would cost and he said about a thousand a year. Her response? "Getting rid of the wrinkles would be great, but, for my thousand dollars, I thought about how much new hockey equipment I would rather buy!"
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Size Matters
I'm going to relate a story from January '07, the third warmest on Minnesota record. The temps had been in the 50's(F) (10C), and a friend I played indoor hockey with said, "Our backyard rink is a goner, I guess you've lost yours, too." Well, I hadn't and the St. Paul newspaper came over to take pictures as ours was apparently the only rink in town. The writer found out that my grandmother (around 1917), mother, my daughters and me all play(ed) hockey so he decided to angle the story that way and called it "Ice Princesses." The story went on to describe the Patrick women's 'secrets' to keeping a rink going through a thaw while enjoying T-shirt-weather hockey.
Our neighbor, Mark's, wife called saying he wanted her to come over and see if our rink was for real. His own rink was mush, and he was so mad that he wouldn't let his kids see the newspaper story, telling his wife, "Not only do the Patrick's have ICE, but it's a CHICK RINK!!!"
Naturally I sent him an autographed copy of the article with a note attached: "I heard you are envious of our 'chick rink.' Next year try using a hose instead of your penis--that water is much too warm. Yours Truly, The Ice Princess."
Over a week went by until he finally called and Steve answered. Mark asked, "Is the Ice Princess in?"
Steve laughed and said, "No, but since she hasn't heard from you yet, she thought maybe she had gone a little too far..."
Mark said, "There are two reasons I haven't called until now. First of all, I knew she wanted me to. Secondly, I didn't have ice yet--but now I do! And tell her MY rink is bigger than HER rink!"
So, I guess size DOES matter, and when I saw his rink, it looked good and the ice was very...white.
PS--secrets to keeping a rink going in warm weather: Locating it in a shady area helps. Use a white liner to reflect the warm sun. Leave ice shavings on to reflect the sun, rather than shoveling, if you know the next day will be warm. If it really warms up, then snows on top of a mushy rink, wait until freezing temps again before walking on it or shoveling it--it will clean up beautifully. Use a hose instead of a penis.
©1/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
Our neighbor, Mark's, wife called saying he wanted her to come over and see if our rink was for real. His own rink was mush, and he was so mad that he wouldn't let his kids see the newspaper story, telling his wife, "Not only do the Patrick's have ICE, but it's a CHICK RINK!!!"
Naturally I sent him an autographed copy of the article with a note attached: "I heard you are envious of our 'chick rink.' Next year try using a hose instead of your penis--that water is much too warm. Yours Truly, The Ice Princess."
Over a week went by until he finally called and Steve answered. Mark asked, "Is the Ice Princess in?"
Steve laughed and said, "No, but since she hasn't heard from you yet, she thought maybe she had gone a little too far..."
Mark said, "There are two reasons I haven't called until now. First of all, I knew she wanted me to. Secondly, I didn't have ice yet--but now I do! And tell her MY rink is bigger than HER rink!"
So, I guess size DOES matter, and when I saw his rink, it looked good and the ice was very...white.
PS--secrets to keeping a rink going in warm weather: Locating it in a shady area helps. Use a white liner to reflect the warm sun. Leave ice shavings on to reflect the sun, rather than shoveling, if you know the next day will be warm. If it really warms up, then snows on top of a mushy rink, wait until freezing temps again before walking on it or shoveling it--it will clean up beautifully. Use a hose instead of a penis.
©1/2013 Jana B Patrick, janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com
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