Mary's delivery

After a few weeks of Caroline being on bed rest, our grandson James came into the world  at United Hospital under the loving care of our family friend, Dr. Carolyn.   As we reflect on this past Christmas season, just think about Jesus’ delivery over 2000 years ago. Mary had to ride a donkey for about 200 miles—In those days they called that ‘Inducing Labor.'  And then having to deliver in a barn because her husband forgot to call ahead for a place to stay?  And how about those three kings?  Gold? Okay gold is good, but frankincense and myrrh for crying out loud?  How about an Epidural and Demerol??  At a minimum hot water and some towels, dudes.  And then a bunch of shepherds come to gawk--All these guys hanging out without a clue what to do.   One can only hope that God went easy on Mary and blessed her with a two-pushes-and-he's-out birth.  And I hope Joseph gave her major jewelry after messing up on the hotel room…

Swiping Right

I saw him across the bar.  Mr. Right.  I pointed to him telling me friend, "THAT guy could make me forget about ____" (I did forget!)  Mr. Right saw me turning my beer into a Polish martini, walked up behind me and said, "I saw you steal that olive."

Steve and I dated for a year when he popped the question.Romantic?  Not even close.  It was April and the North Stors were in the Stanly Cup playoffs which we were watching at my apartment. Steve said, "Do you think we should get married?"   .....then, "They SCORED!!!!!"  After lots of cheering, replays and commentaries, a commercial came on.  Steve:  "So, .....what were we talking about?"  (Just KIDDING!)

We married at the University of St. Catherine chapel on Friday, September 21, 1984.  (Hint, hint kids, 40 years!)  Our reception was at the Ft. Snelling Employees Club with $7.50 chicken entrees, juice glasses with candles and purple crepe paper streamers on the tables. Live band!

I designed my 'art deco' wedding dress which my sister Julie finished sewing on about September 20th. It was skin tight but I won the Limbo without any wardrobe malfunction.  Steve was such a good sport to wear the white tux with tails that I thought would be such a good look.  (He's still rolling his eyes, but he's also done his best to make me happy for 40 years now!)

My mom's cousin Joni lent us a gorgeous, sleek, vintage Art Deco porcelain bride and groom cake topper.  Being unseasonably warm, the cake kind of melted as the bakery transported it with the cake topper falling off and shattering.  No worries.  They stopped at a Hallmark store to buy a $1.99, plastic bride and groom:  Remember Precious Moments with the BIG EYES??

Steve and I jetted off for a Hawaian honeymoon.  I can still see the full moon over the sparkelling black ocean with my man at my side.

Forty lovely years.

The Final Day: The Bituminous Trail

Starting Location: Grove City, Pennsylvania Today's Miles: 430

Ending Location: Paramus, New Jersey with Total Trip Miles of 1928

9am departure in astonishing 64 degree cool weather. Quite a difference from our sometimes 110 humid degrees on the trail.

We will have traveled nearly 2000 miles and it really puts in perspective just how far Jewel's Pop is traveling on the nearly 2000 mile Appalachian Trail. Very, VERY impressive just how far that distance truly is. Perhaps L&J want him out to Colorado for some upcoming holidays. If he still is in the walking mood, he would have had to head west in July to get there in time.  Might have to fly... (From here I can hear his Sherpa (Mema) sigh with relief)

At Sherpa's Dad's wake today, we are fully expecting to see Pop with his bushy, white Appalachian trail beard. Juliette will be thinking she won the kid Lottery, "MY Grandpop is SANTA!!!"  

Well, here's a super HIGHLIGHT of our trip: In Stroudsburg, New Jersey:  The Bituminous Trail intersects the APPALACHIAN TRAIL!!! WE got to stand on it! For Jewels, this is her first hike, and she is wearing the t-shirt Pop had sent her. "Hiking Buddy"

Reunion/wake was wonderful!!!

 

The Bituminous Trail Day Three

 Starting Location: EFFINGham, IL.           Trip Miles:   517                                             Total Trip Miles:  1498

Left the town of EFFINGham at 9am. Sadly, we were not able to do ANY of the 'Fifteen Things To Do in Effingham.'

We ate up lots of miles through Illinois, Indiana, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Isn't air conditioning one of man's greatest inventions?! While we enjoyed our humid overcast morning, we quickly morphed into "excessive heat warnings" throughout the corn belt.  We are very comfortably cool while listening to endless murder podcasts.  

Jewels is looking forward to meeting her Mema and Pop (Bilbo)tomorrow! Imagine this: She and Pop have each traveled nearly 2000 miles to meet each other!🥰🥰

Jewels also looks forward to her reunion with Daddy and her Pomeranian, Mando! Shes been getting massive amounts of sleep preparing for all the partying and has been practicing her smiles 😊for them. 

The Bituminous Trail Day Two

Today's start:  Topeka, Kansas                          Today's Miles:    414                                   Total Miles: 981                                               

On the road at 8:45am. This is a lot later start than Jewel's Pop, Bilbo, who is hiking the Appalachian Trail. (AT)    In our defense, the little Princess has A LOT of stuff to shlep. They don't make backpacks big enough, so the Toyota 4Runner is perfect for our hike. 

There are a lot of cool things to see in all the cute Kansas,Missouri and Illinois towns we are passing at 80 miles an hour.  We would have time to sight-see if we were going at the 15-20 miles a day pace they do on the AT.  (Jewels just did a HUGE eye roll while thinking, 'yeah, we do that in 15 minutes, Pop')

Not too much happening. Just to keep us old people from napping, MOMosa keeps swerving to avoid the possum and armadillo roadkill.  The Bituminous Trail delivers.  

Amazing pirogies in Columbia, MO, home of the Hickman Kewpies.... For real.

Amazing Italian meal in Effingham, IL where we will spend the night!

                  

 

Day One: The Bituminous Trail

 We are traveling nearly 2000 miles on what I will call 'The BT' (Bituminous Trail). This is our trip blog.  

Todays Start: Evergreen, Colorado                      Today's Miles:  567   

Lauren and Juliette picked Steve and me up at Denver International airport about 11am. We are traveling to Paramus, New Jersey for Lauren's hubby, Justin's, grandpa's funeral. (Grandpa's the one who spontaneously jumped up at J&L's wedding reception to lead the Rutgers football  fight song🕺🏻)

We did a potty stop in Eastern Colorado and walked at least a MILE to the "Luxury Restroom Trailer". I didn't know those words could be used in the same sentence. And, everyone's idea of 'luxury' is relative. Like, if you were crazy enough to hike the 2000 mile Appalachian Trail (AT), this restroom trailer might be a highlight of your day. (And if it's constantly raining, you might even think 'cabin!')

Actually, Lauren' father-in-law is nearing the end of his Appalachian Trail hike, so I will be making some comparisons. His AT trail nickname is, well, I'll keep that confidential in case he's wanted for squatting or something. I'll just make up a random name and will call him 'Bilbo.'

Now, WE all need trail names, right? Juliette will hence forth be Jewels. Steve, hmmm, The Thinker?

Lauren will be MOMosa and me, I'll think about it. 

Ok, I'll be 'Nanny Goat.'  (A hated nickname my Dad gave me as a kid. He thought all my friends (and boyfriends!) would like to hear him call me that when they stopped over. Therapy has made a dent.)  So, while 'Bilbo' recently scrambled up boulder-strewn mountains in pouring rain and slippery mud on the Appalachian  Trail, on the BT, I easily and spritely spring into the driver's seat of the Toyota 4Runner. 

Now, back to why would anyone WALK 2000 miles when you can drive?  This question reminds me of a discussion with our son, Ryan's, best friend Kurt when they were 16 with shiny new drivers licenses. "Hey Kurt, do you think you will still ride bikes to each others houses once in awhile?" His reply, "...uhhhh....why?"

If you were hiking the AT, like Bilbo, you would likely have deep, meaningful conversations with fellow hikers. On OUR Bituminous Trail, we listen to murder podcasts. As Jewels is only 2 months old we are not yet forced to listen to mind- numbing stories of Clifford the big red dog. 

Just like Bilbo who sees moose, grouse, and other furry and feathery friends, we see wildlife too.

Me: Hey! Look at those COWS!

The Thinker: Those are steers.

Me:  What....ever!

The Thinker: THEY care!!

We've now trekked into Kansas. Billions of 2000 pound Buffalo used to roam this Godforsaken part of the country. It keeps me on my toes while driving. They could literally show up again at any time.  

Jewels has slept for the last 8 hours. Can we say midnight Party!!

To Have or Have Not

 Anyone hooked on the series "ALONE?" (Where they drop off a bunch of peeps in remote wilderness to see who can survive the longest. 

If it were Me: "Thanks for the boat ride, this is pretty, now let's just turn around and go home, shall we?") 

We started with Season 8 and now reversed to Season One.

Here's my problem with the show:

These survivalists can't find ANYTHING TO EAT.  So, naturally I eat for them out of pure sympathy--buttery, salty popcorn and anything chocolate being my favorites--the contenders keep talking about 'calories' afterall. 

 ...And grilled cheese sandwiches, ice cream bars, leftover fried chicken, um, yeah, I feel for them so I eat for them.  They get fatally, anorexically skinny while I add to my nice muffin top on my cozy sofa in my warm and dry house.  

And on SEASON ONE, so far,  NO ONE CAN FIND ANYTHING TO DRINK other than salted sea water.   Sooooooo, I help myself---and THEM---to a nice cold Fat Tire or two.   (More if we binge-watch. Which we always do)

I never knew I had such an empathetic personality and it feels pretty good, you know?  and when I die early of a cholesterol clogged heart and fatty liver disease, I hope someone mentions that nice trait in the obit.

Mjolnor

For many years growing up I would watch the Olympics from morning to night.  NEVER EVER do I remember the HAMMER THROW...  Apparently fairness now dictates that this 'sport' should get prime time.  It took only 4000 years.  Legend has its ignominious beginnings in Tara, Ireland.  No wonder the O'Haras left.

As some domestic abuse victims and defense attorneys will tell you,  hammers are DANGEROUS.  The THE HAMMER THROW 'sport' injures and occasionally kills more athletes than any other track event.   (Well ...maybe errant discus beheadings.)

Men's hammers are 16 pounds, Womens' only 8--so getting hit by a woman's hammer might just require hospitalization rather than burial.  

The Hammer is a metal ball attached to a steel wire and a grip.  The metal ball can be solid iron or a shell of brass with a filling of lead for instance.  It's your choice.  I would have a chocolate shell with crushed Butterfinger filling. 

Track workers dodge and measure the hammer throw distances. What fun they would have when picking mine up.  In fact, for their benefit, I may stuff mine with a nice 8 pounds of chianti which wouldn't lessen the blow from being hit by one of the other iron bombs, but the workers might not care as much. 

PS:  Trivia:  Does anyone know where the title of this piece comes from?? 

Sitting in the Rooting Section

  

This is a story I wrote in 2021...

Someday I'd like to see the Eerie Canal or the Suez Canal or the Panama Canal.  All I've ever seen is the Root Canal.  Probably five times.

Today I'm hanging out with my 90-year-old Dad as he visits that same Canal.  I'm just 25 years behind him, so will expect to sit in that same dentist chair a few more times myself.

Or worse yet, someday I might need one (or more) of those $$$Dental Implant$$$.  Bye-bye any chance to afford visiting Eerie, Suez, or Panama.

How's the Weather?

The lowest temperature recorded on Earth was -89 C (-128 F) 

at Vostok Station in Antarctica on July 21, 1983.
Anyone wishing to vacation there will be disappointed to find that Marriott and Hilton have yet to build.

Furnace Creek Ranch, Death Valley claims the hottest recorded temperature at a toasty 56.7C (134 F) Ouch.
Californians are considering sending any and all elected officials to this oven for slow cooking.

I postponed a trip to Arizona last week with my dad and sister.  It hit 118.  Dry heat, as they say.  Dehydration causes quick Mummification and you last another 4000 years. 

Not a bad deal, really.

Ragtime at the Blue Line

My 82 year-old dad came to my daughter's college hockey game.  He's always been pretty proper in his conversations, so his comment after the game cracked me up.

"Oh, I feel sorry for those girls; they had THREE periods in ONE day,  hahahahaha!!!!"

Guy humor...  ;)  Love ya Dad!

Life at la Ristorante

Alana is working at a ristorante on Lake Como in Italy this summer.  I got a kick out of her first blog entry:  http://alanapatrick.blogspot.it/

Life at la ristorante  by Alana Patrick  5/2013

So far, we've worked two days at Momi Ristorante. The first Italian word we learned was stanka. One of the waiters: "You stanka?'   Me: "I stink?!  Thanks..."   Later we figured out it actually means TIRED! Which we definitely are. We are on our feet all day - bussing dishes, making espressos and cappuccinos, running food, sweeping floors, the list goes on and on. Momi keeps us busy, that is for sure!

Kelly and I literally jump for joy whenever someone who speaks English comes to the restaurant. Our Italian is no molto bene to say the least.... and everyone we work with speaks sooo fast!  But, the Italian is rubbing off.  Even if we are completely useless at speaking the language, Kelly and I are slowly becoming Italian... Today, a rare American group came in. After we had met them and chatted for a while, one of the guys asked - in clear English - "Are you guys making pasta?" Kelly enthusiastically responded," Siiii! "  Another time today, one of the customers asked me where in the states I was from and I responded, unconsciously using my best Italian accent," Meeeneeeesota!" We bring a new meaning to the phrase 'dumb American's...At least we make people laugh? 

Speaking of accents, no one can pronounce our names. When I introduced myself, one of the other workers said, "Oh, like the President Franklin?"  Me: "No, not Delano, ALANA." Him: "Ohhhhhhhhhhh I see, Haaahlano!"  Kelly is Carly or Kahhhhlie. But, no worries, Momi came up with an obvious  solution:. He renamed us!. Kelly is "Maria" and I am "Magdalena." Should we be offended? Welllll at least people know our names now... 

The biggest challenge of the trip so far has been finding weeeefeeee (Italian for wifi, of course). There is NONE in the whole town of Blevio! We asked Momi about three times, and he was no help. But then today, we saw him on the internet at work! Us: WHATTT, HOWWW?! Kahhlly and Delano did some quick investigating, and we found out we needed to go to the cityof Como and buy a modem and an internet plan. Which is exactly what we did! Maybe we aren't such dumb Americans after all...

Tonight we are enjoying our weeefeee in the hotel before a busy day at the ristorante tomorrow! Arrivederci til later!

"Flow" Yoga, Indeed

What a good deal:  Groupon had 15 hot yoga classes for $25 so I thought, "Why not?"  Let me tell you why not.  It was 105 degrees. I was drenched in minutes. I tried watching the instructor to see what contortions I was suppose to be doing but I had become a sprinkler with flowing sweat impeding my view.  In fact, it got so bad, I looked like the Trevi Fountain.  It ticked me off when my classmates began tossing coins my way.  

There was a 98 degree class called "Flow Yoga" so, next time,  I did that.  The loss of 7 degrees didn't stop the sweat from flowing out of my body at an alarming rate.  The instructor had us attempt things like leaning forward, standing on one foot while the other foot was suppose to stroll somewhere near the ceiling.  The leg I was perched on began to shake violently measuring close to 8.5 on the Richter Scale causing the other participants to dive for cover--or was that just another yoga move?  I wouldn't know, I was the pathetic person slouched on my slick yoga mat noisily sucking down water.  

When meeting up with friends afterwards, they kindly said I had a healthy reddish glow.  In actuality, I believe I had had a stroke.  
©3/2013  Jana B Patrick,  janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com 

Berry Clever, Caroline!

My daughter-in-law, Caroline, is quite the ladder climber--4 promotions in as many weeks after starting in sales with a dermatology company.  As her husband says, "People like her!"  I believe she was born with the 'getting ahead' gene.

Today she told us about how, when she was in first grade, the smartest girl in the class was also named Caroline.  So our Caroline( Lais) would do her hated school worksheets and sign 'Caroline Berry' at the top hoping that the really smart Caroline would simply write 'Caroline.'  The theory was that our Caroline would then get the really good grade that the other Caroline earned.

The teacher saw right through this.  Especially since the allegedly smarter Caroline spelled her last name 'Barri.'

 A plug for our Caroline ;)
For a career with Rodan and Fields: 

https://carolinepatrick.myrandf.biz

For clinically proven products: https://carolinepatrick.myrandf.com

Pull Over and Say "Ah."

While driving years ago, we were discussing tonsils.  (Aren't we fun?)  Six year old Ryan was worried about the longevity of his tonsils when he heard that Steve and I had ours out when we were little.  I told Ryan that was the norm back then, and that the doctors don’t take them out so much anymore.  Ryan nodded, “Oh, so it was the law back then.”  Out of his earshot I said to Steve, “Can’t you see getting pulled over for a routine traffic stop and the cop saying, “Okay, you’re wearing your seat belts, kids are in car seats…and hey, pal, you wouldn't be sporting any illegal tonsils now would ya?"
©2/2013  Jana B Patrick,  janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com        

To Have And Have Not

My cousin Deanne related the following story after reading my 'toilet paper' blog.  http://www.janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com/2013/01/meaningful-dialogue.html  

     I loved your toilet paper blog.  Gordy and I laugh about our four adult children giving us a hard time about using Scot toilet tissue, saying it is too rough.  (they must have extra soft buns.)  We buy it for efficiency, durability and cost!!!  :)
     What makes this so comical is the fact of where I grew up.  We had no indoor plumbing--that is, no running water or 'biffs.' That house was in the center of very affluent WAYZATA, Minnesota.  You see, what  we lived in was at one time an office for my great grandfather's construction business and there was no plumbing then or EVER.  My parents moved there in 1946 when I was born.
     During the warm weather months our water came from the outside spigot of my great aunt's house next door.  In the colder weather when the spigot was shut off, it meant melted snow or rainwater.  Toilet issues were handled by walking to the local Catholic church that was always open, or the elementary school facilities when open; they even had showers available for the community if they needed them.  We did!
     I remember going to my aunt and uncle's farm in northern Minnesota where they had running water in the barn, but the same situation we had in the house: nothing.  But they were one step above us.  They had an outhouse...which had a Sears catalog which was used as toilet paper.  NOW you want to talk about ROUGH.   :)
     So, having come from such beginnings I find toilet paper quality a mute point. When I know the kids are coming over, I slip on a roll of Charmin for their tender buns.
I asked Deanne if I could print the above story and below is her answer.
(Deanne's mother, Adeline, was my mom's cousin.  Adeline lost her mother when she was little and she and her six sisters were farmed out to different families.  Fortunately, she became my Mom's adopted sister)

(Deanne:)  I don't mind.  For most of my life I would never talk about being that poor, but now I am proud to have survived it and thankful my mother, (Adeline), got us through it, although I look back with amazement.  
     We had an oil burner in that house, and, if the wind blew, my mother was afraid the oil fumes would back up and make us sick.  So she had me dress in layers and layers and layers and turned the oil burner OFF.  Then the water we used for washing up and drinking would freeze.  I would put the clothes for the next day in bed with me to make sure they were warm to get into. Oh my gosh, I don't long for those days, but, I am okay with the fact that we were so poor, it made me strong and that is a good thing in life.
     My father was killed in a car accident in 1956 when I was 10.  That left my mother to raise me by herself.  It was very difficult for a few years.  My father's mother--my favorite angel growing up--Grandma Pearl--lived in efficiency apartments around Wayzata, so hers was always an extra place to use a bathroom and, in case of emergency like one of us getting sick, we could go to her place.  TIGHT but it worked.
     About 1959, the daughter-in-law, Jane, of a family my mother worked for in the late 1930's and '40's as a nurse governess for their children, was looking for childcare for her new baby.  They hit it off as Adeline had a gift for making friends and felt comfortable with people of any age, background or status. She was so excited because Jane had an idea.  She had many wealthy friends that needed childcare, and would my mother like to get into that as a business? Thus came a long term fix for us.  My mother didn't have a car or know how to drive, so these women would come quite a ways and pick her up and bring her to their homes.  I was usually in school, and if I wasn't, she took me with her.  It worked.  
      The next amazing thing happened later that year when the first shopping center was built in Wayzata.  For the opening, there was a grand prize drawing for a new car.  My mother won.  Many people in town offered drivers training, free oil changes for a year, free gas etc.  What a gift to us.  We were mobile!
     My mother's child caring soon evolved into staying at those same homes and caring for the children while the parents went on vacations usually about three weeks at a time.  Adeline's name spread fast and people booked her months, sometimes years ahead allowing her to be very selective. We were like nomads, never knowing where we would wake up but guaranteed a warm house. :)  We always went back home in between but the estates we stayed in were unbelievable.  No one ever knew we had no plumbing, which, looking back just makes me laugh.
     
     For three months during the summer of 1965, Adeline was nanny for the children of the director of the Walker Art Center who was traveling. Across the street was a beautiful estate where a husband and wife were renting during a three month job they had in Minneapolis. The wife and my mother became good friends and spent the summer walking around the lake and having tea etc.  I had a nanny job so I wasn't there.  My mother talked a lot about her friends across the street, but I guess I wasn't too interested.  Silly me, it turns out.  Adeline's job ended and we went back to our house.  The next day the Minneapolis newspaper had a full page story about Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn who had spent the summer starring at the Guthrie Theater.  My mother saw the article and, lo and behold, those were her summer friends .

Thanks for sharing the stories, Deanne. You and Adeline have always been inspirations!
  By Deanne Straka edited by Jana Brown Patrick  ©2/2013  Jana B Patrick,  janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com   

For a humorous history of toilets see my blog "Loo Loo, Skip to my Loo"  http://janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com/2011/05/loo-loo-skip-to-my-loo-skip-to-my-loo.html

1965 (From 'Playbill') Legendary theatre is made when the husband-and-wife team of Hume Cronyn andJessica Tandy open in The Cherry Orchard at the Tyrone Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis. Variety hails this latest production as "the outstanding presentation of the Chekhov classic in a lifetime of theatre going and would be a credit to any company."( Cronyn also performed in the Guthrie's Richard the III that summer.)

Coffee, Tea or Lysol?

So many people are sick!  Germs are lurking everywhere. I remember reading one of the Laura Ingles Wilder books set in the 1800's and, on the train car she was traveling in, there was a pitcher of water and ...one drinking glass for all passengers to share.  
Oh, yeah, they still do that at Catholic Mass...  

We took a train out west several years ago and our dining car attendant (we called her 'Pinkie') had raging pink-eye. She would set our table, rub her eye, then write down our order and...hand me her pen to sign the slip...I recall the undisguised horror on Lauren and Alana's faces.  We would then race for the bathroom, wash up, and go back to our meal most likely prepared by coughing, sputtering kitchen crew dudes with pink-eye compliments of 'Pinkie'.  
(Just to really set the mood, think about all that while bouncing and clattering along the tracks at 6 a.m., with a carload of unshowered passengers, eating runny fried eggs.)
©1/2013  Jana B Patrick,  janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com   

The Toilet Paper Blues

I sent Ryan's wife, Caroline, home with a package of toilet paper, and she said, "Oh! WE love this kind, where do you get it?!"  I said, "What's this 'we' business?  You mean you discuss how much you like particular brands of toilet paper?"  (Aren't they fun?) 
(I do love you guys--happy 5th anniversary in December!) 
( Aside:  Where will their conversations degrade to by their 25th??  :))

I showed my college age daughter, Lauren, this story and she said, "Hey, I get this; when you're a poor college student (or young marrieds) you DO talk about how crappy the scratchy one-ply is!"

I asked Caroline permission to print this blog, and here is her reply: 
"HAHAHA!!! Yes, you can post this! I very much remember this! Lol!  I was thinking of it tonight when John (4) sneezed through our one-ply!" 
©1/2013  Jana B Patrick,  janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com       

John Wayne toilet paper – Military term used to describe the low grade toilet paper found in the MRE accessory packet. Called so because it’s rough, tough and don’t take sh!t off of anybody. Can also be used in place of extra fine grit sandpaper when refinishing furniture. For a humorous history of toilets see my blog "Loo Loo, Skip to my Loo"  http://janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com/2011/05/loo-loo-skip-to-my-loo-skip-to-my-loo.html

Jello: Beauty is in the Eyes of the Beholder

On my very first day of my first 'real' job in a Minnesota nursing home kitchen, I forgot to put 150 bowls of red Jello on the food trays.  When my misdeed was discovered by my betters--three older high school girls training me in--they made me sit down and eat as much of the evidence as I could.  I stopped at about 40...
After six years there, including serving enough Jello to rival Mt. Kilimanjaro, I never wanted to see or taste the vile stuff again.

Fast forward to lunch at a deli when my daughter, Lauren, was about eight.
"Pick out anything you want," I said.
"WHAT is that DELICIOUS looking FOOD?!" she asked, pointing to a Jello salad. ...She loved it. 
Feeling a little guilty that my kids had never experienced the cancerous colored concoction, that week I decided to make some Jello at home.  My twelve year old son, Ryan, opened the refrigerator and spied something green bouncing wildly on the shelf. "MOM! what is this CRAP in the FRIDGE?!"

Growing up Non-Jello:  Were my kids deprived ?...or NOT deprived?
©1/2013  Jana B Patrick,  janasrandomwriting.blogspot.com                

Botox or Breezers?

I was playing pick-up hockey with my 40-something friend, Lynne.  During a break she told me of a recent visit to the dermatologist who mentioned that Botox would help her look younger. Intrigued, she asked how much it would cost and he said about a thousand a year.  Her response?  "Getting rid of the wrinkles would be great, but, for my thousand dollars, I thought about how much new hockey equipment I would rather buy!"