Swiping Right

I saw him across the bar.  Mr. Right.  I pointed to him telling me friend, "THAT guy could make me forget about ____" (I did forget!)  Mr. Right saw me turning my beer into a Polish martini, walked up behind me and said, "I saw you steal that olive."

Steve and I dated for a year when he popped the question.Romantic?  Not even close.  It was April and the North Stors were in the Stanly Cup playoffs which we were watching at my apartment. Steve said, "Do you think we should get married?"   .....then, "They SCORED!!!!!"  After lots of cheering, replays and commentaries, a commercial came on.  Steve:  "So, .....what were we talking about?"  (Just KIDDING!)

We married at the University of St. Catherine chapel on Friday, September 21, 1984.  (Hint, hint kids, 40 years!)  Our reception was at the Ft. Snelling Employees Club with $7.50 chicken entrees, juice glasses with candles and purple crepe paper streamers on the tables. Live band!

I designed my 'art deco' wedding dress which my sister Julie finished sewing on about September 20th. It was skin tight but I won the Limbo without any wardrobe malfunction.  Steve was such a good sport to wear the white tux with tails that I thought would be such a good look.  (He's still rolling his eyes, but he's also done his best to make me happy for 40 years now!)

My mom's cousin Joni lent us a gorgeous, sleek, vintage Art Deco porcelain bride and groom cake topper.  Being unseasonably warm, the cake kind of melted as the bakery transported it with the cake topper falling off and shattering.  No worries.  They stopped at a Hallmark store to buy a $1.99, plastic bride and groom:  Remember Precious Moments with the BIG EYES??

Steve and I jetted off for a Hawaian honeymoon.  I can still see the full moon over the sparkelling black ocean with my man at my side.

Forty lovely years.

The Final Day: The Bituminous Trail

Starting Location: Grove City, Pennsylvania Today's Miles: 430

Ending Location: Paramus, New Jersey with Total Trip Miles of 1928

9am departure in astonishing 64 degree cool weather. Quite a difference from our sometimes 110 humid degrees on the trail.

We will have traveled nearly 2000 miles and it really puts in perspective just how far Jewel's Pop is traveling on the nearly 2000 mile Appalachian Trail. Very, VERY impressive just how far that distance truly is. Perhaps L&J want him out to Colorado for some upcoming holidays. If he still is in the walking mood, he would have had to head west in July to get there in time.  Might have to fly... (From here I can hear his Sherpa (Mema) sigh with relief)

At Sherpa's Dad's wake today, we are fully expecting to see Pop with his bushy, white Appalachian trail beard. Juliette will be thinking she won the kid Lottery, "MY Grandpop is SANTA!!!"  

Well, here's a super HIGHLIGHT of our trip: In Stroudsburg, New Jersey:  The Bituminous Trail intersects the APPALACHIAN TRAIL!!! WE got to stand on it! For Jewels, this is her first hike, and she is wearing the t-shirt Pop had sent her. "Hiking Buddy"

Reunion/wake was wonderful!!!

 

The Bituminous Trail Day Three

 Starting Location: EFFINGham, IL.           Trip Miles:   517                                             Total Trip Miles:  1498

Left the town of EFFINGham at 9am. Sadly, we were not able to do ANY of the 'Fifteen Things To Do in Effingham.'

We ate up lots of miles through Illinois, Indiana, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Isn't air conditioning one of man's greatest inventions?! While we enjoyed our humid overcast morning, we quickly morphed into "excessive heat warnings" throughout the corn belt.  We are very comfortably cool while listening to endless murder podcasts.  

Jewels is looking forward to meeting her Mema and Pop (Bilbo)tomorrow! Imagine this: She and Pop have each traveled nearly 2000 miles to meet each other!🥰🥰

Jewels also looks forward to her reunion with Daddy and her Pomeranian, Mando! Shes been getting massive amounts of sleep preparing for all the partying and has been practicing her smiles 😊for them. 

The Bituminous Trail Day Two

Today's start:  Topeka, Kansas                          Today's Miles:    414                                   Total Miles: 981                                               

On the road at 8:45am. This is a lot later start than Jewel's Pop, Bilbo, who is hiking the Appalachian Trail. (AT)    In our defense, the little Princess has A LOT of stuff to shlep. They don't make backpacks big enough, so the Toyota 4Runner is perfect for our hike. 

There are a lot of cool things to see in all the cute Kansas,Missouri and Illinois towns we are passing at 80 miles an hour.  We would have time to sight-see if we were going at the 15-20 miles a day pace they do on the AT.  (Jewels just did a HUGE eye roll while thinking, 'yeah, we do that in 15 minutes, Pop')

Not too much happening. Just to keep us old people from napping, MOMosa keeps swerving to avoid the possum and armadillo roadkill.  The Bituminous Trail delivers.  

Amazing pirogies in Columbia, MO, home of the Hickman Kewpies.... For real.

Amazing Italian meal in Effingham, IL where we will spend the night!

                  

 

Day One: The Bituminous Trail

 We are traveling nearly 2000 miles on what I will call 'The BT' (Bituminous Trail). This is our trip blog.  

Todays Start: Evergreen, Colorado                      Today's Miles:  567   

Lauren and Juliette picked Steve and me up at Denver International airport about 11am. We are traveling to Paramus, New Jersey for Lauren's hubby, Justin's, grandpa's funeral. (Grandpa's the one who spontaneously jumped up at J&L's wedding reception to lead the Rutgers football  fight song🕺🏻)

We did a potty stop in Eastern Colorado and walked at least a MILE to the "Luxury Restroom Trailer". I didn't know those words could be used in the same sentence. And, everyone's idea of 'luxury' is relative. Like, if you were crazy enough to hike the 2000 mile Appalachian Trail (AT), this restroom trailer might be a highlight of your day. (And if it's constantly raining, you might even think 'cabin!')

Actually, Lauren' father-in-law is nearing the end of his Appalachian Trail hike, so I will be making some comparisons. His AT trail nickname is, well, I'll keep that confidential in case he's wanted for squatting or something. I'll just make up a random name and will call him 'Bilbo.'

Now, WE all need trail names, right? Juliette will hence forth be Jewels. Steve, hmmm, The Thinker?

Lauren will be MOMosa and me, I'll think about it. 

Ok, I'll be 'Nanny Goat.'  (A hated nickname my Dad gave me as a kid. He thought all my friends (and boyfriends!) would like to hear him call me that when they stopped over. Therapy has made a dent.)  So, while 'Bilbo' recently scrambled up boulder-strewn mountains in pouring rain and slippery mud on the Appalachian  Trail, on the BT, I easily and spritely spring into the driver's seat of the Toyota 4Runner. 

Now, back to why would anyone WALK 2000 miles when you can drive?  This question reminds me of a discussion with our son, Ryan's, best friend Kurt when they were 16 with shiny new drivers licenses. "Hey Kurt, do you think you will still ride bikes to each others houses once in awhile?" His reply, "...uhhhh....why?"

If you were hiking the AT, like Bilbo, you would likely have deep, meaningful conversations with fellow hikers. On OUR Bituminous Trail, we listen to murder podcasts. As Jewels is only 2 months old we are not yet forced to listen to mind- numbing stories of Clifford the big red dog. 

Just like Bilbo who sees moose, grouse, and other furry and feathery friends, we see wildlife too.

Me: Hey! Look at those COWS!

The Thinker: Those are steers.

Me:  What....ever!

The Thinker: THEY care!!

We've now trekked into Kansas. Billions of 2000 pound Buffalo used to roam this Godforsaken part of the country. It keeps me on my toes while driving. They could literally show up again at any time.  

Jewels has slept for the last 8 hours. Can we say midnight Party!!

To Have or Have Not

 Anyone hooked on the series "ALONE?" (Where they drop off a bunch of peeps in remote wilderness to see who can survive the longest. 

If it were Me: "Thanks for the boat ride, this is pretty, now let's just turn around and go home, shall we?") 

We started with Season 8 and now reversed to Season One.

Here's my problem with the show:

These survivalists can't find ANYTHING TO EAT.  So, naturally I eat for them out of pure sympathy--buttery, salty popcorn and anything chocolate being my favorites--the contenders keep talking about 'calories' afterall. 

 ...And grilled cheese sandwiches, ice cream bars, leftover fried chicken, um, yeah, I feel for them so I eat for them.  They get fatally, anorexically skinny while I add to my nice muffin top on my cozy sofa in my warm and dry house.  

And on SEASON ONE, so far,  NO ONE CAN FIND ANYTHING TO DRINK other than salted sea water.   Sooooooo, I help myself---and THEM---to a nice cold Fat Tire or two.   (More if we binge-watch. Which we always do)

I never knew I had such an empathetic personality and it feels pretty good, you know?  and when I die early of a cholesterol clogged heart and fatty liver disease, I hope someone mentions that nice trait in the obit.

Mjolnor

For many years growing up I would watch the Olympics from morning to night.  NEVER EVER do I remember the HAMMER THROW...  Apparently fairness now dictates that this 'sport' should get prime time.  It took only 4000 years.  Legend has its ignominious beginnings in Tara, Ireland.  No wonder the O'Haras left.

As some domestic abuse victims and defense attorneys will tell you,  hammers are DANGEROUS.  The THE HAMMER THROW 'sport' injures and occasionally kills more athletes than any other track event.   (Well ...maybe errant discus beheadings.)

Men's hammers are 16 pounds, Womens' only 8--so getting hit by a woman's hammer might just require hospitalization rather than burial.  

The Hammer is a metal ball attached to a steel wire and a grip.  The metal ball can be solid iron or a shell of brass with a filling of lead for instance.  It's your choice.  I would have a chocolate shell with crushed Butterfinger filling. 

Track workers dodge and measure the hammer throw distances. What fun they would have when picking mine up.  In fact, for their benefit, I may stuff mine with a nice 8 pounds of chianti which wouldn't lessen the blow from being hit by one of the other iron bombs, but the workers might not care as much. 

PS:  Trivia:  Does anyone know where the title of this piece comes from??